Newsletter #36

These offerings and musings are currently taking place on the ancestral, traditional, and stolen lands of the Seminole, Miccosukee, and Tequesta First Nations. These lands known as Miami.

These are stolen lands built by stolen people

Etiquette

In February, The Cut published The Modern Etiquette rules of social engagement after COVID. The 194 new rules are exactly the kind of rules you would expect from white liberal elites who live in New York and who occasionally hang out with celebrities, and they are good friends with New York Times bestselling authors. It was an interesting anthropological read of how New Yorkers think the United States and North America are clearly hyper-local spaces dictated by their whims and social location. The list was kinda useful as long as you did not read it with a race, class, or power analysis.

Social norms are a thing, and I, for one, do not think we talk enough about the veiled rules that hold up our society and create caste systems and hierarchies. If you are neuro-spicy or you are attempting to enter a class bracket higher than the one you were born into, then you know that social norms and rules can be both very silent and loud and be tools used to ostracize and stratify people negatively. And there are many social rules, although we are not usually told what they are. For instance, no one ever told me it is rude to listen to your music or podcast without headphones in public. We act like that is a universal rule, but the more I go outside, the more I am realizing that rule is now becoming more of a suggestion because lots of people no longer care to adhere to it. 

Most of the social norms in the United States are based on vibes anyways. They are not concrete material things that can be pointed to, and that was illuminated during the transfer of power between Trump and Biden. There were many things Trump refused to do in the days leading up to his having to vacate The White House, and many of us, including myself, were shocked by how much political rules are just political theater. They are simply norms that have not been codified. Returning to The New Yorkers list that launched many TikTok videos, tweets, and response articles, the list is also an indictment of middle and upper-middle-income people. The list, I think, will only matter for those of us who are middle-income or hustling hard to become or remain middle-income and if you are white or live adjacent to white people. The homies in the hood don’t give a fuck if you talk to your dog with your private voice in the presence of another human being which is rule #11. A thing I unpacked with my actual white friend who agrees with this rule and is not too far from being a minted Ph.D. in Anthropology.  


Inspired by the list, Buzzfeed published its version for the terminally online, a list I found more useful as a social scientist critically obsessed with our online worlds. 

Inspired by both lists, I present the Social Justice Doula’s Rules for Social Justice Living, rooted in an anti-racist Black feminist framework. As a Black feminist, I am obsessed with how we people together and help each other evolve into more ethical and accountable citizens when the basis of our society is rooted in oppression and domination. 
 

These “rules” will matter to you if you are someone who is seeking to espouse an anti-racist feminist ethic, believe in personal development, and if you are someone who likes to play in the sandbox of nuance. Take what makes sense and leave the rest. My hope is that you will read this and be in conversation with the ideas and share it with your friends and discuss it with others. Let’s all get clear on the rules, guidelines, and principles that make up our interpersonal and sociopolitical lives.

 

  1. If you are white and in conversation with an older Black person, please resist the urge to be overly familiar by using their first names without them inviting you to do so. That act of being too familiar is rooted in racism. There is a long racist history of white people debasing Black elders by not treating them with respect by stripping them of titles and honorifics, calling them boy or girl, and being inappropriately too familiar with them. I know our society is becoming far more casual, but everyone doesn’t play like that, especially when there are racial power differences present. And this also goes for Black people with a Ph.D. Assume you are to call them Dr.______ and let them tell you differently. TLDR; put a handle on that thang.

  2. When rating your professors of color, women, visibly queer, visibly disabled, people who are members of a religious minority, transgender and non-binary profs, ask yourself, “Would I give a white cisgender tenured male professor the same critique?”  We have all been socialized to believe and expect that professors are white, male, and heterosexual. This image of the professor often stops students from fully seeing and respecting professors who do not fit this mold. Please ask yourself how is racism, sexism, transphobia, xenophobia, and all the other obias and isms, playing into your expectations of your professor. From my own personal experience of being in university classrooms, yes, it is often hard to get departments to be racially diverse in their hiring practices, AND students, more specifically white students, also play a major role in making Black and non-Black adjuncts and faculty of color feel profoundly unwelcomed.

  3. If you dislike your partner’s closest friend(s), say it once and let it tf go! It is okay for your partner to do friendship differently from you and to derive pleasure from a friend dynamic that you loathe. Resist the urge to be a benevolent, controlling partner. It’s possible for your partner to love you and also have alliances that you find questionable. Now, if the friends are Nazis, forget what I said and run for the hills, babes. 

  4. In a friend group that is majority queer, your friend’s same-gender or non-binary partner(s) is probably going to be welcomed before your cisgender hetero-male partner will ever be. Please ask if your cis male partner is welcome before bringing him, and if you get to the hang and all the queers are with their partners, it’s cool. As a heterosexual or bi person in a heterosexual arrangement, it’s okay if your universally socially sanctioned SAFE partnership is not always catered to.

  5. If you are Black or a non-Black person of color and your friend group is primarily Black, or POC and your partner(s) are white, consider not bringing them to every hang. White partners of Black and non-Black people of color should also consider how their presence will alter the vibe of a majority Black or non-Black POC space. **When hanging out with our closest friends, think before bringing your partner(s). This is not a commandment, but a thing we all should be sensitive to. Friend time is precious time, and therefore let’s all work together to protect it. 

  6. Sending people TikToks, tweets, or articles is a neuro-spicy and nerdy person's love language. Prioritize watching them, and you will learn more about a friend than you ever expected. Of course, you don’t have to watch it all on the same day, but please know that a form of intimacy is being built with you and a different way of knowing your friend is being presented to you don’t miss the emotional bid!  

  7. If you are a Criticanista meaning you are the kind of person who always has notes, feedback, or critiques for others and you share them liberally. Please also make sure with the same precision and energy that you freely give criticism that, you also freely share praise and your love. And consider turning down the volume on your critiques.

  8. When in public and you have to use the bathroom, assume someone is in it and knock on the door first before violently pulling the door handle. You’re not at home, boo you live in a society. Please act like it. 

  9. Learn the art of Shiva - Our Jewish kin have perfected the art of sitting with people during profound moments of grief. This is a skill that church and other religious folks also have. As the U.S. becomes more secular and more and more people become unchurched, I am noticing many millennials do not know how to grieve with others or give proper emotional human support. Hell, many of us crumble at the hint of any conflict and discomfort. I fear that our cultural obsession with comfort is going to make growing older and going through the hardships of life devastatingly painful and isolating for many of us. We are getting older every day, which means we will all be touched by moments of great pain and suffering. We will lose our parents, fall into deep mental health holes, develop a maladaptive relationship with substances, self-harm, have miscarriages, bury children, lose a breast or a limb, get divorced, be publically taken down on the internet, and the list goes on. Simply texting people the generic “If you want company or help, let me know” is not going to cut it. Risk being embarrassed and making it awkward for everyone by showing up. Dare to be intrusive and even pushy! Every adult must build up their resilience and the muscles to bear witness to another person’s grief. We will all get a turn on the merry-go-round of pain and suffering; it’s inevitable.

  10. Closure is a myth - The social scientist Pauline Boss has studied ambiguous loss and has found loss and ambiguous loss is a phenomena all humans will experience, and loss is a key features of life. Therefore, set yourself free and let go of the concept of closure. No one outside of you can give you closure. People can recognize, take responsibility, take accountability, people can pay restitution, but closure is an inside job that cannot be manufactured externally. You can listen to her discuss it here, and she has a book on the matter. Free yourself from the tyranny of closure. 

  11. Sharing a video with your audience that you have not watched or an article you have not read on social media is not a good social media hygiene practice. Re-sharing things does not necessarily mean you are co-signing it, but it is reasonable for the reader to conclude that if you are sharing it that you, the original poster, engaged with the text. Sharing things without looking at them or reading them is a dangerous habit to form. In the age of mis/disinformation, we all must cite our sources and share responsibly.

  12. Make sure that in bringing attention to a problematic or toxic post or creator, you are not inadvertently giving oxygen to dangerous people and ideas through amplification. Resource: The Oxygen of Amplification.

  13.  If your IRL friends, who you have a bevy of mutuals with, have stopped liking your posts, sharing your content, are no longer coming to your events, and have stopped interacting with your posts, but you see they are active on social media and like and comment on other peoples post trust what you are seeing and sensing which is, “they don’t fuck with you anymore.” And for whatever reason, THEY would rather communicate this in the digital realm instead of in the material world. This is a rejection of you, and rejection is part of being alive. Try not to take it personally. It happens to the best of us, including yours truly. Make the necessary emotional adjustments and consider muting or hiding this friend or hitting them with an unfollow or soft block. Friendship in the age of social media is weird, painful, and often feels humiliating, and changes tend to come abruptly. And most people do not possess the skills, to be honest, or engage in ethical conflict and let’s be honest, many of us are too fragile and defensive to hear why people who used to fuck with us don’t fuck with us anymore. Let us not forget that closure is a myth, and people don’t owe us explanations. And even with all that being said, boo, we must learn to be meteorologists and learn how to read the changing weather patterns in our relationships. Friendships in the digital age will mean that people may not ever unfollow or block us, but they are, in fact, no longer our friends. 

  14. If you are the kind of person that does not value friendships please don’t offer friendship as a consolation prize if someone shoots their shot with you romantically. Reject them on a friend level as well. You know you are not a good friend, so don’t set people up. I said what I said! 

  15. If they did not mention your name or @ you in the post, then THEY are not talking to you, beloved. As the country folks say, “A hit dog will holla.” If you read something that sounds like a subtweet of you, first of all, OUCH, that hurts, and I am sorry. Secondly, when you are not emotionally so tender, ask yourself if there is any truth to what is being said about you and if any of it can be used as compost in your life. Even your greatest hater and enemy have medicine for us hard medicine, but medicine nonetheless. Remember, boo, people have the right to process the impacts of our behavior on them however, they see fit. Even if we loathe the medium that they are using to do so. 

  16. Do your best to remain teachable and correctable. Demanding that the truth you need to hear about yourself needs to always be delivered softly, civilly, and nicely guarantees you will never grow, you will remain ignorant, and above all, risk becoming the town monster. 

  17. Do not lose your ability to experience awe and be pleasantly surprised by life while practicing discernment and healthy skepticism. 

  18. If you live in a community plagued by opioid addictions and overdose, consider becoming trained in Narcan and having them ready to go in case of emergencies. 

  19. Try your best to have cash to bless our houseless kin.

  20. All healthy, mutually reciprocal relationships take deliberate and intentional work on our part, aka L A B O R. Every human interaction is not transactional, some are deeply interdependent and rooted in mutual exchange. Stop allowing the logic of the free market to dictate your human relationships. Worthwhile friendships will feel more like a socialist experiment than a capitalistic endeavor. 

  21. Stop using your non-profit job and the “noble” work you do for wages as moral licensing to be unaccountable and unethical in other areas of your life. Your cool non-profit job or the awesome work you do in the community doesn't make you above reproach. It is possible to be an emotional terrorist and good at your social justice job at the same damn time. 

  22. When online and you see intracommunity dialogues happening, take notes but mind your biz. You will learn more by not weighing in.  

  23. I am a recovering Baptist, but from time to time, I like to revisit some scriptures there are many bible verses that still really hit for me. Like Matthew 6:3-4 which reads, “But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” It is gross and unethical to film your giving to houseless people. This is not entertaining, nor is it feel-good content. It’s an indictment of our deep inequalities. Stop using houseless people for clout and content. It is giving big colonizer and savior energy no matter the race, gender, and ethnicity of the people doing it. 

  24. If we believe children are people and therefore have agency and autonomy, I do not see how we can be ethically and morally okay with filming children becoming themselves and over-exposing them online. There is nothing gentle about your parenting if you are using your child as content and as a teachable moment. World-renowned child psychologists do not film their parenting. Children have a right to privacy, and that includes digital privacy. We live in a society where children are harmed at a disportionate rate. As adults, whether we have children or not, protecting children is our collective responsibility. The internet, as much as I love it and think about it critically, is not a safe space for the images of children to be so freely accessible. Our digital hygiene must include seeing children less online. 

  25. In all human interactions, power is present. The person who is usually not attuned to this is usually the person with more power in the situation, And with that said, power does not only flow from the top to the bottom. For example, there are many white men, white women, Black men, and non-Black people of color who begrudge and downright despise having a Black woman as a director or manager and who therefore take deliberate steps to undermine this person from the bottom up. Moral of the story: be aware and try your best to responsibly manage the various power dynamics that are always already present in any situation. 

  26. Anti-Blackness is the fulcrum upon which all other racism, biases, and isms rest. Asian hate, sexism, racism, xenophobia, transphobia, homophobia, etc., cannot and will not be eradicated until anti-Blackness is addressed. 

  27. White supremacy needs patriarchy in order for it to function well. You cannot undo white supremacy and keep patriarchy intact. A gender liberation politic, aka feminism, is needed in order to secure social justice. 

  28. The term woman is a sociopolitical term and classification, not a biological home. The term woman is capacious enough to hold many cultures, nationalities, races, classes, and permutations of womanhood. People are either socialized, read, violently disciplined into, or sometimes opt into womanhood. And when we say women, we always already mean transgender women!

  29. Pronouns are not gender! Sorry, cis people. You should use the gender pronouns that people demand and take seriously that until there is gender liberation, pronoun usage will never be enough.   

  30. Only queer women are FEMMES that is not an everybody term.

  31. Identities are not sacred, nor are identities a politic. Someone’s race, class, and gender are not proof of their goodness or badness. Pathologizing people based on their race and deifying people using race is to traffic in pseudo-race science. 

  32. Learn how to give an ethical apology. Resource: The Four Parts of Accountability & How To Give A Genuine Apology

  33. I know the social justice girlies and theys deeply dislike hearing the phrase, “How can you love someone else if you can’t learn to love yourself?” Comrades, I think it’s time to see the truth in this cliche edict. We are our first community, comrade, lover, and bestie. If I have a consistent and habitual practice of not liking, advocating, and loving myself, I find it hard to believe that this will not limit or greatly impact my ability to give and receive love. Self-love is critical to our social justice politics, and when I use self-love, I mean it in the way bell hooks evokes it in her germinal work All About Love. 

  34. The world is changing, and what was permissible even a decade ago will get you severely socially sanctioned today, and that’s a good thing! We are in a period of over-correction, and we are collectively drawing new social norms and lines as more people engage with social justice ideas, feminist ideas, etc. Many of us will become victims of the social justice overcorrection mob, and others of us will be properly taken down and stripped of power by these new rules of engagement, and that is simply the price of being a member of society and being alive and not living as carefully and mindfully as one should. Public humiliation and callouts are not inevitable. Choose your words wisely, and think before you post. Learn the difference between things that should: live in your private thoughts never to be uttered, a group text, blog post, op-ed, journal entry, private conversation among trusted friends, therapy, and what should be public. Assume that everyone has screenshots and that one day you will be dragged before Congress to testify and that your emails will be read aloud to you by AOC. And if all that fails to curb your behavior and you still get caught up, please learn how to take public L’s with grace and compassion, and never let go of your dignity. Being called out publicly is not proof of your unworthiness, it's simply proof you have things to address. And know that, eventually, you will be let back into society. Society is changing; keep up, beloved. 

  35. If you are a person with actual influence in the IRL and online world, do not make a habit of dating your fans or becoming besties with your fans. The number one way to protect yourself from a public takedown is to remain grounded. You must be intimately surrounded by people who love you and are also not afraid to tell you when you are wrong if you are serious about remaining grounded. Stan culture dictatestells fans to never question their fav and that their fav is never wrong. With the rise of social media and influencing, some everyday people are internet famous who have groupies, fans, and stans, and boo, that is NOT the waters one should go fishing in for friendship or love.

  36. The movement for social justice is bigger than your heartbreak, babes. The work towards social justice should not be stymied because you got got by a social justice f-boi. SJ f-bois talk a good social justice game and are sometimes amazing organizers and visionaries. These same people are also emotional terrorists and should not be entrusted with the care of your body and feelings. These same amazing social justice cuties have no issue leaving a trail of pain and destruction in every organizing space they find themselves in. People are complicated and deeply unprincipled, that is true, and the movement should not be destroyed because you are hurt. The people we purport to fight for and with deserve more principled comrades. Movement spaces are not always the most ethical or safe spaces to play in romantically. It’s okay for us to date people who are outside of our movements and who are also very amenable to our politics. Perhaps consider not turning your sociopolitical home into Tinder. 

  37. Whether you're white and autistic, white and immigrant, white and transgender, white and queer, white and non-binary, white and fat, or white and disabled, you will always have to contend with Whiteness. Pointing only to your oppression will not make your whiteness invisible. We can still see it, babes.  

  38. It's possible to have a very public online life and a very private and sacred offline life. There is an art to this delicate dance, and so many of your favs have mastered this, and you can too. If you love the internet and are chronically online, there is a way to honor this love while still being an active, mindful participant in your offline life. 

  39. Comrades are not automatically friends, and friends are not automatically comrades. Consider yourself lucky when you find the intersection of friendship and comradeship in one person. 

  40. There is no such thing as being too smart or self-aware for talk therapy. Consider for a moment that you are perhaps a person addicted to intellectualizing (I also suffer from this disease). Therapy is not a panacea, and therapy perhaps is not for everyone, but you're not an X-Men who can't find value in therapy because you're so special and evolved. 

  41. If you sent a friend an email or text and they haven't responded, but they are posting on socials, don't be a cop and call them out on this. Surveillance and policing are not a love language. The energy it takes to answer an email or certain texts is not the same as posting on social media. Let’s extend each other some grace. 

  42. If you have ever been tried and found guilty in the court of public opinion, if you have given an ethical apology, taken responsibility, entered into an accountability process, and have made real efforts to make amends, pay restitution, and repair the harm you have caused, please know for some people that will never be enough. Don’t despair, remain steadfast in your transformation, and surround yourself with people who love and support your transformation. People are not entitled to forgive or exonerate us just because we have changed. And you also do not need to live inside another person’s prison. We live in a prison culture which means there are people who are committed to jailing you for the rest of your life and the thought of people being transformed is not one that they will ever consider. 

  43. 41. Sometimes, what the situation calls for is a quick phone call. I know many of you are against impromptu phone calls and view that as a fatal act of transgression, but this rigid no-phone call rule is creating email and text purgatory and epic confusion. A phone call for many of us is an access need, and it helps preserve relationships. Let's find ways to minimize disagreements and misunderstandings, not concretize them. *** I know many of you are scared of phone calls because you don't know how to end a phone call properly. I think this is a beautiful opportunity and invitation to practice this skill. Pro-tip: At the beginning of the call, clearly state how long you intend the call to be and honor it. It will get easier with practice. 

  44. Unless you use Signal 100% of the time, every correspondence does not need to be in SMS messages or emails. And every meeting does not need to be recorded on Zoom. We have witnessed enough hearings about people’s emails and messages. Move like the feds are always watching. 

  45. The most loving thing you can do for yourself is not to conflate that you benefiting from a pure random series of luck as evidence of your genius and that you are G-ds favorite. Just because your lies, secrets, addictions, and maladaptive coping skills have not yet outed you, it does not mean that this will always be the case. Assume that eventually, if you do not change your ways that the ultimate grand jury called life will eventually indict you, and all of your secrets will be unsealed. Check your hubris, boo, and get out of the game while you can. 

  46. A commitment to social justice and liberation requires that we all embrace a politic of anti-fragility, individually and collectively. How can we build up our conflict resolution skills so that we can learn to remain in conflict longer and in ways that do not destroy our relationships? *Inspired by Kai-Cheng Thom*

  47. From The Notorious BIG song  “The Ten Crack Commandments” commandment #4 is “Never get high off your own supply.” There are levels to this one. Be confident, don’t perform fake humility, resist being self-deprecating, take compliments graciously, and NEVER EVER buy into other people’s positive perceptions of you. Focus on what you think of yourself with a sober mind, what the people you love and respect think of you, and the values and ethics that govern your life and behavior.

  48. In the song “Devil In A New Dress” by Kanye, he says,. ‘Don’t leave while your hot that’s how Mase screwed up.” I want to take this critically important rap line (you had to be there) and add some nuance to it. Yes, don’t leave at the height and don’t overstay your welcome either, and compromise the collective by pulling a Ruth Bader Ginsberg or worse, become a Barney Frank. Frank has gone from hero to villain right before Silicon Valley Bank failed, Barney Frank sat on it as a Board member and used that position to help undo legislation that bared his name that would have ensured that SVB would not have failed if he had not helped weaken it. Two lessons: Firstly, stop letting the enemy recruit you after you made a career combating them. Secondly, RBG and Barney Frank colluded in the undoing of their own legacy.

  49. Every now and then, perhaps give some thought to what kind of ancestor you will be or want to be. 

  50. Older parents who come on the internet crying and confessing that they have no idea why their adult children went no contact with them are only providing compelling evidence as to why their adult children went no contact with them. How derelict in your relationship with your children and absentee as a parent were you to say with assuredness and in earnest that you have no idea why your children do not speak to you. In that case, it proves that you were an ineffective and neglectful parent who may be reaping the profound lovelessness that you sowed. 

  51. Resist the ableist and white supremacist impulse to label everyone who has harmed you or whom you have a conflict with as having a personality disorder, the most popular one being a narcissist. There are words in the English language that still exist that do an excellent job of describing unhealthy relationships, such as problematic, toxic, dysfunctional, cantankerous, irreconcilable, mercurial, etc.  When people casually drop narcissism in a conversation with me, I struggle to remain engaged. Because at that moment, I feel like the speaker is foreclosing on the harm doer’s dignity and humanity, and I am being coerced into doing the same. We can talk critically and scathingly about the impacts of people’s behavior on us and not have to play armchair therapist. And I am deeply sad and concerned for people who think and perhaps on some level know that they can only elicit care and concern from their friends or the public by using these keywords such as narcissism. 

  52. Bothside-ism and playing devil’s advocate ain’t a politic, nor is it a sign of a thinker who should be taken seriously. 

  53. Intelligence may have its limits, but wisdom does not. Seek both.

VIEWINGS AND READINGS:

Kids Deserve s New Gender Paradigm - This article is written by Kai Cheng Thom, a trans woman who is a writer, performer and cultural worker. The article is about a very dicey conversation and it is about trans people detransitioning. I think Kai Cheng does an excellent job detailing the nuances of this subject with lots of love and curiosity.

Dismantling The Cycle  of Romance - This a talk (video) Dean Spade gave for The Fireweed Collective which is about the myth of romance and I appreciate Dean Space grounding us in how we can practice uprooting white supremacy from our relationships.

The Black Culture Platforms That Push Right-Wing Extremism - There is something very dangerous happening among Black people online and this very blog is attempting to warn us all about the right-wing extremism that has infiltrated Digital Black culture. 

The Kent Test - If you are familiar with The Bechdel Test, which seeks to help audiences notice sexism in media through its portrayal of women, then you will appreciate The Kent Test made by Clarkisha Kent. It seeks to measure how Black women and women of color are portrayed in the media. It seeks to help the audience build their media literacy. 

Jen Angel Wanted to Abolish Prisons. She Wouldn’t Want Her Death to Be Used to Incarcerate Anyone. - This article is about an activist and abolitionist, Jen Angel, who was tragically killed in a crime, and how her community is demanding justice and repair outside of the criminal punishment system. Jen Angel sounds like she was principled AF and was surrounded by principled comrades. I was deeply moved by this article. 

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a powerful message for those who have gone down the path of hate - This a 12-minute video of Arnold, now an elder statesman trying to encourage people, mainly white men, to stop embracing anti-Semitism and Nazism and speaks briefly about his father, who was a Nazi. It is well done and worth the watch. 

How To Find Joy In Your Sisyphean Existence - For those who dance with despair Arthur C. Brooks offers a much-needed reframe. 

Black Crossword - A free mini crossword for the culture 

The New Black Film Canon - A list of the 75 best Black films 

Killer Whale Moms forgo having kids to look after grown sons - *sighs deeply in feminist* a very interesting short read about Killer whales and their self-sacrificing decisions that they make to accommodate their sons. It is hard not to make comparisons.

Black Teen Girls Are The Curators of Culture - I love the internet and it is no secret that the best parts of the internet comes from Black U.S. culture. Teen Black girls are the invisible tastemakers who power our lives and this article does a good job of highlighting this fact.

 

LISTENING:

Today Explained 7,300 days - Is all about marking the twenty years of the Iraq war. I found the way the story is told to be very beautiful and it is told in a very millennial kind of way. 

Bullsh*t Jobs: Nonprofits Edition w/ Dean Spade - This is a short podcast episode where Dean Spade talks about the backlash he experienced for his talk titled, “Should Nonprofit Work Be Paid.” It was fascinating to hear him talk about how lost in wage labor sauce many of us are and that even thinking about our nonprofit wage labor job differently is unsettling to many. 

Louder Than A Riot: Megan’s Rule Being exceptional doesn’t make you the exception - This podcast series is about misogynoir in hip hop and it starts off strong discussing Megan Thee Stallion and the trial against Tory Lanez who shot Megan. 

Come As You Are: “Consent and Enthusiastic Maybe”- This radically deepened my understanding of what I thought I knew about consent and confirmed some ideas that were swirling around in my head about the nuances that are embedded into consent conversations. If you love nuance like me you will appreciate this reframe.

 
 

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Save the date: Feminist Manifesto!

On May 13 from 11-2pm EST, I will be hosting another iteration of “Feminist Manifesto.” Our last offering in March sold out pretty quickly and we had rave reviews and happy tears. Be on the lookout for when tickets drop in a couple of weeks to join our next session, boo.

Get Free: Black Feminist Futures Homecoming

Are you a Black woman or Black gender expansive person and are you a feminist? Then please join me at Get Free: Black Feminist Futures Homecoming. Here is a link for more information and to secure a ticket.

I am a proud Board Member and dues paying member of BFF and if you have any questions please do not hesitate to reach out.


Patreon Shoutouts: We want to give a special shoutout to our patrons who pledged this month!

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