These offerings and musings are currently taking place on the ancestral, traditional, and stolen lands of the Seminole, Miccosukee, and Tequesta First Nations. These lands known as Miami.
These are stolen lands built by stolen people
“What the film The Devil Wears Prada can teach us about our socialization"
One of my favorite movies is the 2006 film The Devil Wears Prada which stars the G.O.A.T. Meryl Streep, whose character Miranda Priestly is said to be loosely based on Anna Wintour. In the wake of the Black fashion icon Andre Leon Talley's passing from the NPR show, It's Been A Minute with Sam Sanders, I recently learned that the Stanley Stucci character Nigel was actually based on Andre Leon Talley. Imagine having your painful story of being maligned, looked over, and exploited by your famous white woman boss enshrined in film history, is painful enough. And then to be portrayed by a white man in the film. The erasure! (I genuinely hope my queer kin and now ancestor finds peace, love, and adoration that was stolen from him in life).
The Devil Wears Prada is an iconic pop-culture film that has one of the most recognizable iconic scenes. You know the scene I am talking about: it is the one that is all about the color cerulean. If you have not watched this scene in a while, please do yourself and me a favor and watch Meryl Streep give a masterclass in acting. This scene is one of my favorite movie scenes of all time that lives in my head rent-free because there are many ways to read and interpret it if you give the text a close reading.
I think the scene is a damning indictment of how we have all been captured and shaped by socialization. It does a beautiful job of reminding us that socialization is far deeper and more pernicious than we want to admit. In the scene, Andy, played by Anne Hathaway, is scoffing at all the commotion and the gravitas that Miranda and everyone else who works at this Vogue-esque fictional world is giving to fashion. And of course, Andy thinks that because she does not put lots of thought into her attire, she is above the fray and, therefore, a more serious and better person because she is not as vapid as her colleagues. Of course, the climax of this moment is when Miranda points out that even Andy's frumpy ugly (my sentiments) sweater that she gave no thought to when she purchased was a decision already made for her by the fashion industry that she was mocking. Anne Hathaway's character is a beautiful example of how many of us who espouse social justice and anti-racist feminist politic think we are above our socialization. Or that we have mastered our socialization and therefore have seen all that there is to see in regards to its depth and hold on us.
What we deem beautiful, what turns us on sexually, what turns us off sexually, our fears, anxiety, and joys, what we are attracted to is not as innate and intrinsic to our being as we would like to imagine.
Marketing, advertising executives, heads of Hollywood studios, big tech, Anna Wintour and her ilk, porn, media, etc., have all conspired against us and have crafted our desires for us. There is no such thing as making a decision outside of this reality. The reality is that we live inside of this racial capitalistic apparatus. The best we can do is get curious about ourselves to ensure we see the new and sinister ways our socialization controls and dominates us. The cerulean scene is an example of our unconscious bias. Andy thinks her cerulean sweater exists outside of the ugliness and shallowness of the fashion industry, but it does not. And the gag is Miranda is the more informed one because she is fully aware that her desires can be manufactured and manipulated.
Not a month goes by in which I am not humbled, aka brought to my psychological knees by my socialization. I visit often with my anti-Blackness and other problematic thoughts. Because I am the Social Justice Doula, a doctoral candidate who studies gender, race, sexuality, and social justice, and because I am BlaQ does not mean I have outsmarted my socialization. There is no way to deny that I was born and reared in an anti-Black, anti-woman, anti-immigrant, anti-Semitic, anti-poor, anti-trans, anti-Muslim, and anti-queer society. These systems of oppression and domination inform my desire to purchase the cerulean sweater that appears to be an apolitical decision on the surface. I often tell my coaching clients that as your sociopolitical consciousness grows, your socialization's ability to trick you and evade your watchful eye does as well.
I engage in principled struggle with my socialization by continually reminding myself that my socialization is older and knows me better than I know myself. It has no shame when exploiting my ego and desires against me. It is only when I humble myself and accept this fact that I can put proper safety measures to protect myself and others from my socialization steeped in white supremacy.
Are you tracking how your socialization comes up and threatens to arrest your development? Are you honest about where your lack of awareness is when it comes to having a nuanced understanding of your power and where you have unearned benefits and privileges in your life? Get curious about the things that inform you and how you have arrived at your desires, opinions, and beliefs. Lastly, don't take it personally when you see evidence of your socialization in your thoughts, behaviors, desires. It's your socialization, and there are tools to keep it in check. But you only can check that which you are conscious of.
This is why and how the term stay woke was birthed. You have to be awake and paying attention to check yourself.
VIEWINGS AND READINGS:
TikTok has an original scripted LGBTQ+ drama called Hidden Canyons that can be viewed on TikTok. I am loving this moment we are in and how niche tv is becoming and how people are playing with mediums and forms. I just recently found it and I am loving it thus far.
Vaccines & Freedom | Philosophy Tube - “As part of a research project with the Royal Institution, we spoke to real people who have declined the covid vaccine to learn how they might be persuaded!”
Inside Voices - This website which is still in beta is an online site where Black and non-Black workers of color can anonymously share and rate how racist and inclusive their workplaces are. Although, I think it’s impossible to work in a workplace that is devoid of racism, some companies are more harmful than others. Perhaps this website can be part of your next job decision-making.
The myth of bringing your full self to work - This is a TED Talk by Jodi-Ann Burey that I implore everyone who is striving to create more inclusive workspaces to deeply reconsider the notion of authenticity at work when we are talking about Black people.
My Platonic Life Partnership Went Viral On TikTok & People Have A Lot of Questions - “We had both a deep platonic love and commitment to each other, and also engaged in level-headed discourse about major life decisions to make sure they aligned. While I’m not familiar with how romantic couples decide to get married, I imagine it’s similar to our decision to be in a platonic life partnership. When someone consistently helps you become the best version of yourself, and your future feels brighter and bolder with them, why would you not want them by your side forever?”
What to the Black Jew is Passover? - "Passover is the week when I deal with what it means to be simultaneously Black and Jewish in America. I organize a seder; I invite people I care deeply about into my home. I create and print a custom Haggadah each year. We get wasted drinking two sizable grape dranks on empty stomachs (wine, gin/vodka/soju and concord grape juice, take your pick). We laugh our way through whatever play-version of the Maggid my spouse has picked out that year. We also make sure to talk about Black and Palestinian experiences around the world. It is through this joyous experience that I reconcile being Black and Jewish at the same time, getting to craft an environment where my identity is whole. I know that everyone there understands this is a time when I honor my ancestors, biological and spiritual, who toiled under the Pharaoh of white-supremacist capitalism and colonialism. Passover is the part of the year when I bring my community together and call on us to lift up Black history, Black joy and bountiful Black futures.”
Am I a Lesbian? - “If you’re questioning if you’re a lesbian, it's way more important to ask yourself if you can be truthfully happy with a man than if you’re attracted to them. Ask yourself if you can have healthy fulfilling relationships with men and actually wanna be with them. You can be attracted to men or not know if you are because of compulsory heterosexuality and it doesn't mean you want to be with them. Attraction is supposed to feel good. If being in relationships with men isn’t appealing to you, if you can’t truly see yourself ending up happy in relationships with men, or if your attraction to men makes you uncomfortable, you may be a lesbian. Lesbian isn’t a dirty word and being a lesbian is beautiful. Many lesbians STILL struggle with compulsory heterosexuality even when they know they don’t want men.”
LISTENING:
Today, Explained : Is Everything Trauma now? - "Psychologists are worried that 'trauma' is losing its meaning. A trauma survivor says they shouldn't be.”
Going Through It: The World is Bigger Than the Bad with Chanda Prescod-Weinstein - “Being a leader in a field is hard. Being a leader in theoretical physics as a Black woman is a unique battle. When the weight of being one of the first became too heavy, Chanda Prescod-Weinstein turned to her mom for perspective.”
Truth Be Told: 30. Obligation - “Black men have it hard in America.
And by and large, Black women have felt an obligation to show up, love, and support them. Is it too much to ask that they show up for us?
That’s the topic we’re taking on this week with writer and cultural critic Jamilah Lemieux. She recently wrote a piece for Vanity Fair where she coined the term 'the Black Ass Lie,' pointing out the harm that comes from the ongoing narrative that straight Black men have it the worst in our society. She believes this lie is to the detriment of Black women, queer and trans people. In this raw and unfiltered conversation, Jamilah unpacks the layers of obligation Black women have to Black men with writer and professor Kiese Laymon. We explore the use of the b-word used to rhetorically destroy Black women — and what holding Black cishet men accountable actually looks like.”
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
The Politics of Disposability: On Cancel Culture and Accountability ~ A Teach-in on April 26, 12 PM EST:
In collaboration with the Association for Size Diversity and Health, I will be doing a teach-in on how to become more ethical and not throw each other away. This will be a virtual class and offers a CEU credit. Here is the link to register.
"Women Authors Across Cultures: Where Are We Going 2022" ~ Panel on May 1st, 2 PM EST in the University of Miami Newman Alumni Center:
The world has been turned upside down by the pandemic, climate change, gender inequality, political upheavals, racial unrest, and even threats to democracy. So where do we go from here? Join us as four acclaimed women authors offer their unique visions for the future.
Patreon Shoutout: We want to give a special shoutout to our patrons who pledged this month!
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