These offerings and musings, are currently taking place on the ancestral, traditional, stolen, and Unceded lands of the Musqueam people the lands also known as Vancouver.
Love and social justice
What does your romantic, platonic, and relationships with strangers reveal about your values and your beliefs? We all know of the tragic story of the clergy who shows up for his congregation but can’t save his family. The charismatic leader who organizes the protest and gives beautiful impassioned speeches about freedom and justice, but is a womanizer, abuser, and/or a neglectful lover and partner. Relationships are the places where we can practice living in a world that is not centered or mediated by white supremacy.
As a Black queer femme who dates primarily Black people I know first-hand how white supremacy can corrode love and turn loving human beings into the worst possible versions of themselves. I blame white supremacy for the pain that I have experienced inside of my romantic relationships. White supremacy doesn’t show up in the ways that we might be able to easily identify. White supremacy can rear its head through disputes about money, addiction (both the socially and not socially sanctioned), infidelity, lovelessness, and/or emotional/physical abuse. My exes and I are not awful people, but we are survivors of awful things and those things hindered our ability to see each other and offer each other the love, kindness, and freedom that we ultimately wanted to feel.
I cannot control the various ways in which white supremacy is trying to destroy our world and our republic, but I can control the limits in which I will allow white supremacy to take root in my love life and in my platonic relationships. I have spent the last year of my life doing deep grief work. Grieving all the love that I have lost and the pain, shame, humiliation that I have endured. White supremacy does not want us to heal which is why we must be make confronting our trauma a priority! To live a feminist and/or anti-racist life whatever you choose to call it requires that we commit to healing, loving ourselves better, and loving each other in ways that speak to our values. In the words of adriennemareebrown, “`we can no longer afford to love people the way we have been loving them.”
VIEWINGS / READINGS
When Things Fall Apart- I am currently listening to the audiobook by Pema Chodron. I have found Buddhist teachings very helpful in my personal development and healing
Decolonizeallthescience.com & decolonizeallthethings.com- For those who want to read about the intersection of science and racism
The Next Question Ep 6 Brave Together with Brene Brown- This is a great episode about racial justice and interracial friendships among white women and WOC
She Was Allegedly Raped And Couldn’t Bear Going To Trial. So She Met Her Attacker In Person To Work Things Out-For those interested in how using restorative justice can be used to address an assault case.
Ask Polly : How Do You Learn to be Happy Alone?-Great advice for those in struggle with their loneliness
Climbing Everest Isn’t a Bucket List Dream- It’s a Crisis of Overtourism- A great article about the intersection of tourism and settler fantasies of conquest
In the End, BoJack Heals-but at Whose Expense-BoJack Horsemen is my favorite show (feel free to judge me) and this essay made some excellent points about the women who were used to help BoJack heal
LISTENING
Intersectionality Matters Ep 6- What Slavery Engendered: An Intersectional look at 1619- Kimberlie Crenshaw discusses slavery and gender with the Dorothy Roberts a must listen!
The Daily Who’s Actually Electable in 2020- Sexism appears to be the forever issue in the U.S. elections
Switched on Pop: Rihanna Party- This episode truly contextualized the reach and impact that Rihanna has had on pop music
Esther Perel How’s Work? The Break-Up-this podcast is only available on Spotify in this episode Esther helps two bestfriends breakup professionally. This podcast proves that whoever you are in your romantic life it will translate professionally
