MUSINGS
These offerings and musings, are currently taking place on the ancestral, traditional, stolen, and unceded lands of the Musqueam people the lands also known as Vancouver.
Remember when everybody was about that âwe are the resistanceâ life and hype? During the summer of 2017 AKA âthe resistanceâ that was the first time I started doing anti-racist workshops for the public. As part of a wrap up email I sent these tips via email to the participants. I have edited and updated them and sharing them with you here. I hope this is helpful and useful.
HOW TO BE AN ALLY IN THESE TOUGH TIMES TIPS FOR THE RESISTANCE
1. Check-in with the QTBIPOC, immigrants, & undocumented folks in your life. Anyone in your life who is deemed the other by this government and this nation-state needs our love and demonstrated concern and care. For e.g. as I type this yet another Black person has been murdered by the state in her home #AtatianaJefferson. I am very sad and angry. Almost on a weekly basis a Black and/or Brown transwoman is murdered and let us never forget the bevy of Indigenous women, girls, and two-spirit folks who go missing and their disappearance never makes it to the news. These ongoing acts of violence unsettle and disrupt the sense of safety of those whose communities are under ceaseless attacks. Make it a point to get on the phone and call folks, text, and ask them how they are doing. Ask these folks what does support look like for them? Do not be alarmed if their answer is, âI donât know.â People are not accustomed to being asked what they need and have probably not given this any thought. If the idea of checking in with people who are radically different from you frightens you, then it is imperative that you do it! Be honest, direct, and vulnerable with folks and let them know why you are checking in with them, and that you are struggling on how to do it. Let folks know your intentions. Do not get angry or take it personal, if these folks give you a response that is lukewarm or worse. White supremacy makes it hard to be vulnerable with those who occupy the space of your oppressor.
2. Give money directly to activists/organizers when at all possible. Your fav activist and/or organizerâs ideas has been used to double the grant funding of many of your fav social justice organizations, but the brilliant organizers NEVER EVER gets a raise, promotion, or bonus. Many of your favorite social justice organizations abuse their organizers and are deeply rooted in white supremacy. Many of these organizations would sell out their base to be tokens at various problematic tables with donors, who have NO interest in disrupting white supremacy. Therefore, treat your fav activist and/or organizer to a spa day, lunch, dinner, or if you have a cottage or summer home offer up the space to your fav who is in dire need of respite. *Giving money to Black folks directly is NOT reparations, but itâs an awesome gesture! *
3. Have the hard conversation with your in-group. Meaning white folks talking to other white folks about their white supremacy. Straight folks talking to other straight folks about their heterosupremacy. Cisgender folks talking to other cis folks about dismantling the gender binary and OUR cissupremacy. This means we must get comfortable with being in conflict and sometimes inviting the conflict. A just world will require many many hard conversations and conflict. Lean in folks!
4. Ask yourself why are you fighting for racial/social/economic justice? What do you seek to gain from being in this fight? Articulate it. Write it down and let whatever spills open from your heart be your guiding pillars.
5. Ask yourself who are you willing to part with in this quest for social/economic/racial justice?This is a hard one for folks, but the time to think about this is now, before you haphazardly stumble upon your cousinâs picture at the alt-right rally holding a tiki torch. Or, before you are embroiled in a Facebook fight. Everyone you love will NOT be able to walk this road with you. That is a fact. Family, is not just about DNA. One of the best lessons that the queer community has gifted the world is the concept of chosen families. As adultâs we have the honor of assembling our chosen family and we should relish in this fact. Some of us are working for a socially just world, some people are actively working towards an ethno-white state, and others will go with whomever will allow them to dominate. Learn the difference and assemble your people accordingly.
6. Audit the social justice spaces and organizations that you pledge allegiance to
⢠Who is in charge? If the people who are being most impacted are not at the helm of leadership, at the mic, or at the strategy table that is a problem.
⢠Is the space accessible? Disability justice MUST be part of our fight for liberation. We must always be thinking about making the space physically inclusive and accessible!!!
⢠Are there gender-neutral bathrooms?
⢠Is childcare available?
⢠Is food available when meetings are after hours?
⢠Are the people being asked to share their stories for the 100th time on the behalf of the organizations being compensated for their emotional labor? Compensation can be: cash, gift cards, groceries, gas card, etc.
⢠Has there been a community norm/agreement set to establish that pronouns will be respected in the space?
⢠Is the space youth friendly? Youth are NOT the future, they are the right NOW!
⢠Is there language justice in the space that extends beyond Spanish? For e.g. in Miami Haitians are the second largest ethnic group, but very rarely is Creole made available in spaces. Whose language justice is truly being centered?
⢠Is there a stated and explicit framework for addressing harm in the space? Is this framework made public and has everyone consented to it?
⢠Is healing justice and a trauma-informed framework a cornerstone of the social justice spaces and organization(s)? If not, run like hell fam. For many of us our trauma brought us into the movement, but our trauma if left untreated and unresolved, will not be able to sustain our work. We will become those who abused us if we do not seek help for our trauma. You cannot effectively and successfully organize multi-racial broad coalitions of people without practicing healing justice and having a trauma-informed lens. That is reckless and dangerous.
7. Get an accountability partner. Unseating your inner oppressor is going to take work and we all need a sponsor/buddy to keep us honest and on an integrous path.
8. Get out of your zip code. For e.g. in Miami people tend to not travel outside of their preferred zones. That is problematic on various levels. The information, inspiration, fuel, and community that you need is probably not all going to be found in your zip code.
9. By doing #8 you will be able to naturally diversify your friend group.
10. Be willing to be vulnerable-the fight for liberation, dignity, and our humanity requires human beings that are fully present, empathic, willing to call on their courage, and those who practice being vulnerable.
11. Make time to read and study to inform your praxis of your social justice. Read books, articles, and essays from the people who are living at the intersections.
12. Challenge everything you know! As in everything.
13. Unleash your imagination/creativity. Make time to play and nurture your creativity. Practice imagining what a society without âxâ oppression looks like. We spend so much time protesting and fighting, but we do not give any time to imagining what the alternative can look like or articulate that alternative. Adults need play the same way kids do. Make time for rest, relaxation, and fun.
14. Indulge. Eat your fav foods, spend time with your fav people, have good consensual sex (if you have sex), watch mindless tv. Do your thang! Live your best life and invest in your joy. Do not let the movement, or white supremacy rob you of your ability to pursue your dreams, to love, to be present, or to enjoy your life. It is OKAY to take breaks. Healthy people create healthy communities.
15. LOVE. Always love. Never stop loving. Make space for love. Even when humans fail you. Let love be your guiding force and be the rock upon which you stand and build your social justice house. Read bell hookâs All About Love.
16. Practice self-compassion- We were ALL socialized in this fucked up context. Sometimes we are effective allies and sometimes we are NOT. Nurse your woundâs and move forward.
17. Have Integrity-Find your ethical line and do not let anyone push you over that line. Once you cross that line it is very hard to comeback. Itâs either ALL of us or NONE of us. It is NOT about you or your organization. It is always about the collective!
18-20. Listen to Black and Indigenous folks!
VIEWINGS / READINGS
Desirability: Do You Really Love Fat People When You Canât Even See Us Beyond The Politicalâ[link] the title says it all!
TransformHarm.orgâif you have ever been in my class or workshop you have heard me quote Mariame Kaba who is in my humble opinion one of the most insightful brilliant feminist thinkers of our time. She is an abolitionist and she created this website that is dedicated to transformative justice and abolition.
Yes, âBlackâ is capitalized when weâre talking about raceâ[link]I judge folks who donât capitalize Black when talking about Black people and culture and this article makes it plain on why you should change this practice if you have not already.
Prison abolition is more than a lofty theoretical. Itâs also unpretty, everyday practices of resisting state policing â[link] Hari is one of my favorite writers and they grapple with abolition and I appreciate this reminder that abolition is messy and it not necessarily a pacifist stance. Itâs complicated!
Photos of A Butch Woman That Challenge What Pregnancy âShould Look Likeâthis is a beautiful reminder that mothers are not monolithic. [link]
Mary J. Blige on Recovery, Healing ,and Taking Care of Herselfâ[link] This essay is written by one of my favorite writers and it really speaks to how Black women who show up for other people rarely have people to show up for them. Needless to say, it resonated.
LISTENING
Switched on Pop: Chance The Rapper, Kehlani, & Shifting Sound of R&B- if you are a music nerd you will be very happy to listen to this episode that is talking about R&B and its many iterations [link]
The Secret Lives of Black Women- Challenging the Status Quo with Jamilah Lemieuxâ[link] this episode features one of my favorite writers and I love how she talks about her abortion story. Rarely do we hear this kind of honesty about abortions especially as it concerns Black women
Itâs Been a Minute: Interview with Writer and Poet Saeed Jones On How We Fight For Our Livesâ[link] A powerful episode about Jonesâs new memoir it is about being Black, gay, and from the South this interview is beautiful and powerful
The Ezra Klein Show- The original meaning of âidentity politicsâ with Keeanga Yamahtta Taylorâ[link] if you want to learn the Black feminist roots and conception of the term identity politics from a Black woman scholar.
The Nod--Fearing the Black Bodyâ[link] this episode explores the racism that underpins fatphobia and discusses how BMI is rooted in racist pseudoscience
All My Relations--Celebrate Indigenous Peopleâs Day, Not Columbus Dayâ[link] learn why it is deeply offensive and ahistorical to celebrate Columbus Day
